Every one of us, consciously or unconsciously, affects the
objects and people around us, including ourselves, on a continual basis. Think
about the expression 'laughter is contagious.' Well, sure it is! How do you feel when you
are around happy, laughing people? Usually, you cant help but feel good
yourself right?. All emotions are energy and energy passes from one body to another;
from one object to another; matter to matter. Laughter is contagious!
You clear your house of negative energies and replace them
with positive ones. Laugh once in a while. Promise. It'll help. :)
For my younger bro.. all the love!
updates. public bathrooms. sweet nostalgia. the most disturbing video ever Updates have been slow in coming as I seem to have thrown all of my energy into University work these days. It’s addictive in a way that no drug really is. (wtf? can't believe I just wrote that. jesma, you f*ckin nerd!) I’ve also been writing my novel for most of the time now plus there’s nothing like working with fellow ink artists at the shop…especially in an environment where you can ask a 30 something year old man if he’s ever shaved his balls and no one looks at you like you’re an asshole. It’s actually expected. (I asked him, because he wants his ink below his navel; now don't get those homo ideas flying, buddy)
But don’t think I’ve forgotten about you mr. internet; you’re my first true love. What with your ample supply of torrents, your never-ending pool of porno and your non-stop thirst for entertainment.
Anyway, just want to throw random stuff here. (for the sake of updating my poor forsaken blog)
Do public restrooms piss you off?
It does to me.
A bathroom, to me, is a sanctuary. It's a place of solitude, a place of quite, a place for reflection, a place of relief. My best thinking is usually done one the can as I'm squeezing one out (I expect some shit head jokes. Go ahead, get it out of your system.)
In other words, for me a good trip to the bathroom is like a mini vacation. I can go in stressed and angry and come out happy and relaxed.
Because I place such high stock in bathrooms, public bathrooms are extra offensive to me.
I hate public bathrooms.
The Smell -- When you walk into a bathroom, it should smell clean, airy and inviting. At best, public bathrooms smell like urine. At worst, some asshole sasquatch is grunting out a chocolate mud baby that smells like it crawled up there and died - three weeks ago.
The sounds -- Bathrooms are not meeting places. Bathrooms are for expelling wastes. Take your overly loud animated conversation outside. Now. Also, I realize that the bathroom is the best, and only place to make dookie (unless you're camping, where you MUST dig a hole, as shit does roll downhill). Regardless, would you please, PLEASE get more fibre in your diet or something? Machine gun flatulence is funny ONLY outside of my fortress of solitude. And that disgusting wet runny shotgun bum blast? Yea, that's what I want to hear on relaxation time. If you have a loud bum, buy an ass muffler, ok?
The Sights -- We're all adults, right? Which means we should all know what goes where. Why are there piles of shredded paper towel under the dispenser? Pull some out, use it, put it in the garbage. It's that simple. If your home looks like that too, you're a f*cking pig and should be hurt.
Some people must be balding - DOWN THERE. I had no idea that pubic hair shed so much and so fast. Seriously. With all the short curlies strewn about, you'd think that somebody was trying to grow a pubic chia pet or something.
People, when you shart, do at least one courtesy flush. A giant bum pow not only sounds nasty, it looks like somebody loaded a shotgun with poo and unloaded a few rounds on the back of the bowl. I don't want ANY part of my body that close to poo, that's just sick.
Also, the toilet has a flush lever for a purpose - to take your waste away. USE IT. When I see what looks like month old catfood and paper mixed with corn floating around the bowl, it makes me want to vomit.
If you INSIST on peeing in the poo bowl instead of the urinal, have some bloody respect and don't pee on the rim. I want to sit in urine almost as much as I want to sit on a cactus. If I ever catch somebody getting urine on the bowl, I WILL make them lick it up. Pricks.
If I ever rule the world, you can be sure that public rest rooms will be cleaner, safer, and more inviting places.
=D
Just want to share with you folks videos I randomly saw on youtube,
Anyone who spent their childhood in the Philippines should know this.
This is sweeeeet nostalgia for me. Go Gundam Deathscythe!
And eew?
Seems like baby "pi-pi" here has loads of testosterone even at a young age. imagine a tingly appendage for a toddler! that's child molestation for ya'll!
europeans scare the hell out of me.
disclaimer
Spelling error and poor grammar in this blog are the product of a poor school system.
This blog is intended for the use of the individual
user named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive
persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational
religious beliefs. My opinions are neither copyrighted nor trademarked,
and it's price competitive. If you like, I'll trade for one of yours.
None of the ideas expressed in this blog are actually mine, they are told to me
by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my
desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust
bunnies they may find under there. The rants written herein do not conform to
my views or to any accepted standard of logic that the Greeks thought up.
Unless the word 'absquatulation' has been used in its correct context somewhere
other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use
and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this blog,
although the golden retriever next door is living on borrowed time. Those of
you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that
there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards,
so just ignore that Alert Notice from the conscience behind your head. If
you have come to this blog in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites
and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand
for 2 hours before icing.
Have fun! :)
all the love,
jesma
Friday, October 31, 2008
updates. public bathrooms. sweet nostalgia. the most disturbing video ever Updates have been slow in coming as I seem to have thrown all of my energy into University work these days. It’s addictive in a way that no drug really is. (wtf? can't believe I just wrote that. jesma, you f*ckin nerd!) I’ve also been writing my novel for most of the time now plus there’s nothing like working with fellow ink artists at the shop…especially in an environment where you can ask a 30 something year old man if he’s ever shaved his balls and no one looks at you like you’re an asshole. It’s actually expected. (I asked him, because he wants his ink below his navel; now don't get those homo ideas flying, buddy)
But don’t think I’ve forgotten about you mr. internet; you’re my first true love. What with your ample supply of torrents, your never-ending pool of porno and your non-stop thirst for entertainment.
Anyway, just want to throw random stuff here. (for the sake of updating my poor forsaken blog)
Do public restrooms piss you off?
It does to me.
A bathroom, to me, is a sanctuary. It's a place of solitude, a place of quite, a place for reflection, a place of relief. My best thinking is usually done one the can as I'm squeezing one out (I expect some shit head jokes. Go ahead, get it out of your system.)
In other words, for me a good trip to the bathroom is like a mini vacation. I can go in stressed and angry and come out happy and relaxed.
Because I place such high stock in bathrooms, public bathrooms are extra offensive to me.
I hate public bathrooms.
The Smell -- When you walk into a bathroom, it should smell clean, airy and inviting. At best, public bathrooms smell like urine. At worst, some asshole sasquatch is grunting out a chocolate mud baby that smells like it crawled up there and died - three weeks ago.
The sounds -- Bathrooms are not meeting places. Bathrooms are for expelling wastes. Take your overly loud animated conversation outside. Now. Also, I realize that the bathroom is the best, and only place to make dookie (unless you're camping, where you MUST dig a hole, as shit does roll downhill). Regardless, would you please, PLEASE get more fibre in your diet or something? Machine gun flatulence is funny ONLY outside of my fortress of solitude. And that disgusting wet runny shotgun bum blast? Yea, that's what I want to hear on relaxation time. If you have a loud bum, buy an ass muffler, ok?
The Sights -- We're all adults, right? Which means we should all know what goes where. Why are there piles of shredded paper towel under the dispenser? Pull some out, use it, put it in the garbage. It's that simple. If your home looks like that too, you're a f*cking pig and should be hurt.
Some people must be balding - DOWN THERE. I had no idea that pubic hair shed so much and so fast. Seriously. With all the short curlies strewn about, you'd think that somebody was trying to grow a pubic chia pet or something.
People, when you shart, do at least one courtesy flush. A giant bum pow not only sounds nasty, it looks like somebody loaded a shotgun with poo and unloaded a few rounds on the back of the bowl. I don't want ANY part of my body that close to poo, that's just sick.
Also, the toilet has a flush lever for a purpose - to take your waste away. USE IT. When I see what looks like month old catfood and paper mixed with corn floating around the bowl, it makes me want to vomit.
If you INSIST on peeing in the poo bowl instead of the urinal, have some bloody respect and don't pee on the rim. I want to sit in urine almost as much as I want to sit on a cactus. If I ever catch somebody getting urine on the bowl, I WILL make them lick it up. Pricks.
If I ever rule the world, you can be sure that public rest rooms will be cleaner, safer, and more inviting places.
=D
Just want to share with you folks videos I randomly saw on youtube,
Anyone who spent their childhood in the Philippines should know this.
This is sweeeeet nostalgia for me. Go Gundam Deathscythe!
And eew?
Seems like baby "pi-pi" here has loads of testosterone even at a young age. imagine a tingly appendage for a toddler! that's child molestation for ya'll!
europeans scare the hell out of me.
c
"Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter"
-Friedrich Nietzche
it has been crazy five years full of cracky, non-sense and whimsical humor blogging.
what started out as a "for-profit" racket of a graduating elementary student (which he really
didn't need) turned out to be one of his hidden passions -- writing. truly, writing is the world's
most favorite metaphor, and sharing it, broadens the adventure to begin with. rudyard kipling once
qouted, "words are the most powerful drug used by mankind" if that was so, i am due for rehabiliatation
just to get over with the addiction. the pen is the tongue of the mind so let your mind speak, and write it
down; for words are so many things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a thought, produces
that which makes thousands, perhaps millions.
theverybestofjessiemaria[dot]com, jesma's current and 4th blog, and possibly his last will be a hopefully
collection of his best hits since he started blogging in 2003. a frustrated novelist, he is currently studying
in Portsmouth, UK, struggling through his first year at University as a Eng'g Physics Nursing major. He
hopes to find some success in writing so as to soften the blow when telling his parents how much he is flunking
the course they would be funding for the next five years.
As a seasoned interweb dork, Jesma's diet consists mostly of a steady supply of energy drinks and
Cool Ranch Doritos. Because of this, Jesma must supplement his diet with a steady source of positive
feedback in order to survive. You can contribute to Jesma's continued existence by either leaving a
comment or by sending him an email at rossiyskaya_federatsiya@yahoo.com
an essay to the ateneo de manila's admissions personal essay requirement. the question was:
Are there any siginificant accomplishments you have realized, that helped defined you as a person?
-- I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train
stations on my free time, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone
playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute brownies in
20 minutes.
I am an expert in snakes n' ladders, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass
of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries.
When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays,
after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend
passes. Last summer I toured around the whole world traveling with centrifugal force demonstration. My
deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise lost, Moby Dick,
and The Odeyssey in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the
exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated
with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate
in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made
extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
I breed prize-winning dandelions. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka,
and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played with Cirque du Soleil, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken
with Elvis.
