Every one of us, consciously or unconsciously, affects the
objects and people around us, including ourselves, on a continual basis. Think
about the expression 'laughter is contagious.' Well, sure it is! How do you feel when you
are around happy, laughing people? Usually, you cant help but feel good
yourself right?. All emotions are energy and energy passes from one body to another;
from one object to another; matter to matter. Laughter is contagious!
You clear your house of negative energies and replace them
with positive ones. Laugh once in a while. Promise. It'll help. :)
For my younger bro.. all the love!
I was rudely awakened by a "beeping" sound done by my cellular. pissed and completely awake, I knew that I had to make a post about it.
I was sleeping, which is in no way the same as being asleep. It sounds the same? No, it’s not. Is f*cking the same as being f*cked? Don't think so. Sleeping is an active thing, a thing to be enjoyed and to be taken seriously, while being asleep is something anybody can do.
whatever.
Anyway, studying and cramming hours for an exam or for an oral, I’m a night owl and I usually go to bed really late. But once I do, I take my sleeping seriously. And I get really pissed off when someone or something wakes me up, that I sometimes end up executing allnage-no-katamoves on somebody or something 2 pi diameter within me.
So going on, my cellular committed a heinous act by alerting me of its low battery level. Shaken out of my pleasant dreams by the phone’s ear-splitting complaint, I sat up, very nearly knocking my head on a wooden plank (i sleep on a double decker, the reason which goes a very long way). i stumbled around the dark room, colliding with the furniture, trying to locate the damn thing so i could put it out of its damn misery. By the time i found it, under a pile of red-marked exam sheets on the desk, I was completely awake.
This isnt the first time it has happened, nor will it be the last, Im sure. I usually turn it off at night. Really, I swear. But I'm human and sometimes I forget. And when I do, the battery will inevitably be low. There must be a version ofMurphy’s Lawfor cell phones. If you forget to turn off the phone at night, the low battery alarm will go off somewhere between 3 and 5 AM -- a God-forsaken hour in my life. It doesn’t matter if the battery has just been charged or not, trust me, the alarm will still go on.
And the worst part, there is no way to turn the f*cking alarm off. Absolutely none.
Its not like my phone is some cheap basic model. No, mine has all kinds of neat features. It plays music, takes pictures, can connect to internet, and even has a large collection of games. I can choose any ring tone I want. It tells me when peoples’ birthdays are and keeps track of my appointments. Hell, it even tells me what perfume that chick sitting beside me in anatomy class is using. kidding :) But can I turn the Low Battery Alarm off? NOOO. Can I lower the volume of said alarm? NOOO.
So this very moment, alongside writing this post, being torn away from my very serious task of sleeping, I lay awake, cursing aloud the company who developed my cellular. Is an on/off function for the battery alarm really too much to ask for?
If these guys can make a phone that can tell you the name of a song that’s being played on the radio, where the nearest restaurant is, and if the person sitting next to you is single and looking for love, why can’t they do something about the low battery alarm? Is there something about it that requires some amazing feat of programming? Or did it just slip their minds, what with all the other stuff they were trying to cram in?
I think it’s something else entirely. It must be a sadistic streak intrinsic to phone designers everywhere. They must sit up late designing fabulous new phone models, and secretly taking pleasure in choosing the most annoying sound available for the low battery alarm, knowing that they are exercising some sort of insidious control over people. I can just imagine them geeks going "Bwahahaha! I have the power to annoy people off!"
if that were the case, nice one motorola assh*les. you got me.
Or even worse, it could be a marketing strategy? Maybe they want us to hate our phones so we’ll go out and get a new one. The only thing that is keeping me from throwing mine out the window is that it was a gift form a friend dearest. But, just you wait, mr motorola slvr, in a few more months you’ll be lying in the street wondering just what you did wrong.
disclaimer
Spelling error and poor grammar in this blog are the product of a poor school system.
This blog is intended for the use of the individual
user named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive
persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational
religious beliefs. My opinions are neither copyrighted nor trademarked,
and it's price competitive. If you like, I'll trade for one of yours.
None of the ideas expressed in this blog are actually mine, they are told to me
by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my
desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust
bunnies they may find under there. The rants written herein do not conform to
my views or to any accepted standard of logic that the Greeks thought up.
Unless the word 'absquatulation' has been used in its correct context somewhere
other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use
and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this blog,
although the golden retriever next door is living on borrowed time. Those of
you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that
there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards,
so just ignore that Alert Notice from the conscience behind your head. If
you have come to this blog in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites
and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand
for 2 hours before icing.
Have fun! :)
all the love,
jesma
Friday, May 16, 2008
low batt
I was rudely awakened by a "beeping" sound done by my cellular. pissed and completely awake, I knew that I had to make a post about it.
I was sleeping, which is in no way the same as being asleep. It sounds the same? No, it’s not. Is f*cking the same as being f*cked? Don't think so. Sleeping is an active thing, a thing to be enjoyed and to be taken seriously, while being asleep is something anybody can do.
whatever.
Anyway, studying and cramming hours for an exam or for an oral, I’m a night owl and I usually go to bed really late. But once I do, I take my sleeping seriously. And I get really pissed off when someone or something wakes me up, that I sometimes end up executing allnage-no-katamoves on somebody or something 2 pi diameter within me.
So going on, my cellular committed a heinous act by alerting me of its low battery level. Shaken out of my pleasant dreams by the phone’s ear-splitting complaint, I sat up, very nearly knocking my head on a wooden plank (i sleep on a double decker, the reason which goes a very long way). i stumbled around the dark room, colliding with the furniture, trying to locate the damn thing so i could put it out of its damn misery. By the time i found it, under a pile of red-marked exam sheets on the desk, I was completely awake.
This isnt the first time it has happened, nor will it be the last, Im sure. I usually turn it off at night. Really, I swear. But I'm human and sometimes I forget. And when I do, the battery will inevitably be low. There must be a version ofMurphy’s Lawfor cell phones. If you forget to turn off the phone at night, the low battery alarm will go off somewhere between 3 and 5 AM -- a God-forsaken hour in my life. It doesn’t matter if the battery has just been charged or not, trust me, the alarm will still go on.
And the worst part, there is no way to turn the f*cking alarm off. Absolutely none.
Its not like my phone is some cheap basic model. No, mine has all kinds of neat features. It plays music, takes pictures, can connect to internet, and even has a large collection of games. I can choose any ring tone I want. It tells me when peoples’ birthdays are and keeps track of my appointments. Hell, it even tells me what perfume that chick sitting beside me in anatomy class is using. kidding :) But can I turn the Low Battery Alarm off? NOOO. Can I lower the volume of said alarm? NOOO.
So this very moment, alongside writing this post, being torn away from my very serious task of sleeping, I lay awake, cursing aloud the company who developed my cellular. Is an on/off function for the battery alarm really too much to ask for?
If these guys can make a phone that can tell you the name of a song that’s being played on the radio, where the nearest restaurant is, and if the person sitting next to you is single and looking for love, why can’t they do something about the low battery alarm? Is there something about it that requires some amazing feat of programming? Or did it just slip their minds, what with all the other stuff they were trying to cram in?
I think it’s something else entirely. It must be a sadistic streak intrinsic to phone designers everywhere. They must sit up late designing fabulous new phone models, and secretly taking pleasure in choosing the most annoying sound available for the low battery alarm, knowing that they are exercising some sort of insidious control over people. I can just imagine them geeks going "Bwahahaha! I have the power to annoy people off!"
if that were the case, nice one motorola assh*les. you got me.
Or even worse, it could be a marketing strategy? Maybe they want us to hate our phones so we’ll go out and get a new one. The only thing that is keeping me from throwing mine out the window is that it was a gift form a friend dearest. But, just you wait, mr motorola slvr, in a few more months you’ll be lying in the street wondering just what you did wrong.
c
"Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter"
-Friedrich Nietzche
it has been crazy five years full of cracky, non-sense and whimsical humor blogging.
what started out as a "for-profit" racket of a graduating elementary student (which he really
didn't need) turned out to be one of his hidden passions -- writing. truly, writing is the world's
most favorite metaphor, and sharing it, broadens the adventure to begin with. rudyard kipling once
qouted, "words are the most powerful drug used by mankind" if that was so, i am due for rehabiliatation
just to get over with the addiction. the pen is the tongue of the mind so let your mind speak, and write it
down; for words are so many things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew upon a thought, produces
that which makes thousands, perhaps millions.
theverybestofjessiemaria[dot]com, jesma's current and 4th blog, and possibly his last will be a hopefully
collection of his best hits since he started blogging in 2003. a frustrated novelist, he is currently studying
in Portsmouth, UK, struggling through his first year at University as a Eng'g Physics Nursing major. He
hopes to find some success in writing so as to soften the blow when telling his parents how much he is flunking
the course they would be funding for the next five years.
As a seasoned interweb dork, Jesma's diet consists mostly of a steady supply of energy drinks and
Cool Ranch Doritos. Because of this, Jesma must supplement his diet with a steady source of positive
feedback in order to survive. You can contribute to Jesma's continued existence by either leaving a
comment or by sending him an email at rossiyskaya_federatsiya@yahoo.com
an essay to the ateneo de manila's admissions personal essay requirement. the question was:
Are there any siginificant accomplishments you have realized, that helped defined you as a person?
-- I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train
stations on my free time, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone
playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute brownies in
20 minutes.
I am an expert in snakes n' ladders, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass
of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries.
When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays,
after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend
passes. Last summer I toured around the whole world traveling with centrifugal force demonstration. My
deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise lost, Moby Dick,
and The Odeyssey in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the
exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated
with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate
in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made
extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
I breed prize-winning dandelions. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka,
and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played with Cirque du Soleil, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken
with Elvis.
