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much love yo
Every one of us, consciously or unconsciously, affects the objects and people around us, including ourselves, on a continual basis. Think about the expression 'laughter is contagious.' Well, sure it is! How do you feel when you are around happy, laughing people? Usually, you cant help but feel good yourself right?. All emotions are energy and energy passes from one body to another; from one object to another; matter to matter. Laughter is contagious! You clear your house of negative energies and replace them with positive ones. Laugh once in a while. Promise. It'll help. :)

For my younger bro.. all the love!

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    layout: lyricaltragedy
    inspiration: reversescollide

    Sunday, March 9, 2008
    shit list (pardon for the profanity)

    skinny celebs - I dont know what the hell is going on in Hollywood, but I blame Calista Flockhart for starting the trend of unusually skinny bird bitches. Just take a look at Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan, or Paris Hilton; there is nothing attractive about being so skinny that Somalians fear for your health. Girls should have curves, and boobs, and they should be soft and enjoyable to touch. I dont know about the rest of the world but the idea of making out with the skeleton that hung in the corner of my high school science lab never appealed to me. They just should just go the whole nine and be full fledged porn stars, at least then theyd get paid for being the anorexic sluts that they are.

    emo/punk bands - Every song written by these dingleberry losers sounds alike. I heard this song from this local band, chicosci vampire shit whatever fuck they call themselves and I farted that lasted 4 minutes, the length of the full song, and it had more tone, charisma, pathos, and talent than every emo band album put together. A friend of mine encouraged me to go watch an emo concert and I just walked out of the shit that they put on. I then went home, and watched my wall, which was better. I hope these bands stop recording shit, and I pray radio someday stops playing them. I also hope that they get on a plane that crashes into a fish tank full of ravenous pirahanas that eats their faces off but leaves them to live horribly disfigured lives. I have nothing against rock bands nor with their music, REALLY. Its just that these emo fuckers irritate the hell out of me. Be a real band like Incubus, and probably ill watch a concert

    disclaimers on medicines - Warning: This drug may cause heart murmurs, loss of bladder control, blindness, dylexia, thoughts of being a douchebag, brain embalism, the urge to shove poop in your mouth, suicidal thoughts, hemorahging, and make your face like your own ass.

    Seriously.

    Not only is there some new designer prescription for everything from nosebleeds to severe allergies, the side effects that they cause are horrifically worse than the problem they are prescribed to get rid of.

    enteng kabisote(vic sotto) and his fans - This movie licked so much shit that Vic Sotto eventually ended up imploding after licking his own shit for three consecutive days. This movie sucked ass, lots of ass, immense amounts of ass, and fans of this movie can lick even more ass. Every time I hear someone say 'Gosh, the lead character is sooo handsome!' I want to chop them in the larynx and cut off their oxygen supply. HELLO? vic sotto may be the perfect epitome of a tall, dark and handsome type of dude but that was when he was YOUNGER. This movie is a shining example of how you can shit on film and the public will eat it up. Now Vic Sotto propaganda and consumer products over run every movie store shelf. I see no need for people with such obvious weak-wills and bad taste to continue existing. The only way this movie could have been worse is if it starred alongside Willie Revillame.

    obese peeps who are on this shitty south beach diet - I dont know what the fuck 'south beach' thinks it is, but no good can come of his diet. There is no simple, or easy, way to lose weight. I takes hard work, exericse, eating smaller healthier portions and being conscious of the fact that you need to lay off fast food and mudpies. If youre pushing a metric ton then there should be no thought in your mind whatsoever that you should lay off bread and rice and eat more meat.

    along these lines are vegetarians. If you dont eat meat youre a moron. I am so sick and tired of all of these skinny, wheat smelling, ass-puppets telling me that meat is murder or eating red meat is unhealthy. Wanna know whats unhealthy? Being fourteen pounds, soaking wet, and then trying to lecture me on the benefits of your diet and how healthy you are. Would you like to know what else doesnt eat meat? Everything that is made of meat that I eat.

    parents of obese children - Any parent who lets their kids look like this and then blame society because their children are social outcasts and mocked openly. What happens then is that fattys mommy raises enough of a ruckus that I cant order a Double Bacon Cheeseburger anymore because she is too stupid to realize her walrus children have been cramming down the caloric intake of a 750lb sumo-wrestler since the age of two. Its your fault your kids arteries are clogged because youve condoned their diet of fat, grease, and smaller children. Instead of screaming that McDonalds needs to make their food healthier why don’t to you jack-hammer juniors super-sized ass off of the couch and make him do some pushups. It will be good for him, or he will suffer a massive coronary, either way its a win-win situation. Im not the healthiest person in the world but even I know that if I eat Mcdonalds and drink soda seven days a week I am going to rival a sumo-wrestler in weight, girth, and water displacement . Hell Im fairly certain that McDonalds hamburgers dont even contain actual beef. Unfortunately it would probably take two or three cyanide darts to take these parents down because they’re obviously the size of a woolly mammoth.

    reality t.v. shows - This means cast, crew, producers, and fans. Reality TV is, by far, the most hideous waste of electrons ever, wanna know why? Because instead of going out and doing things like..well..anything, they sit at home and watch what is going to happen to other peoples lives. I am all for television and movies because I believe everyone should enjoy a good, well told, story. Movies and TV are great entertainment and I will concede that i do occassionally plant my ass in front of the one eyed god of knowledge. (usually on nights when NBA or UEFA is on) I detest reality television. Reality TV is hardly ever reality because there is a cast and crew behind the scenes antagonizing certain characters, editing things a certain way, but all in all its a dumb fucking idea. Its about the most apathetic form of entertainment ever. Reality Television is horribly cliched, fit every stereotype, thus perpetuating those stereotypes, piece of monkey shit. I would enjoy storming the set of shows like PDA and Pinoy Big Brother and all of the other shitty reality tv shows. It will make for a great series finale.

    Im sure theres more to this list, but if you have any suggestions. Email Me.
    Friday, March 7, 2008
    ideas to make your next shopping more interesting(and fun too!)
    1. Set all the alarm clocks at a do-it-yourself shop to go off at 5-minute intervals.
    2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
    3. Move the 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    4. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why cant you people just leave me alone?'
    5. Look right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and pick your nose. better yet, flip a finger.
    6. Go to a knife department, and ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
    7. Run around the store suspiciously loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
    8. My personal favorite, hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
    9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume schizophrenic stance and scream 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!'
    10. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait awhile; then, yell, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here!'
    arggh.
    Dear Mr. Elementary Statistics,


    Go Fuck Yourself.


    Regards,
    Jesma.
    bestriend.
    You run into people everyday in your life that you want to help. Above and beyond the daily grind. people that you think if 'I could just reach I could make a difference'. It is very hard for me to step back and look into myself and not worry. Most of the people I meet have been the way they are for a long time and I am certainly no counselor. I am very easy to talk to and keep private talks just that. And I mean serious private. So private that I have been asked why someone else never gets in trouble. I usually respond by asking them if they have ever heard something I have repeated about them. When they respond by saying no I ask why they think they would know about another persons problems. That usually gets them thinking about the trust issue. I try to just listen and sometimes I get too involved and then I usually get hurt. It makes me feel jaded sometimes. To appear distant to people that work for me. It is not that you do not care you just can't put another monkey on your back. I had this friend that revealed to me that he was addicted to Oxycontin. I was devastated but I tried to help by being there and not judging. I went through his addiction and tried so hard to get him into counseling and tried to get him to understand he has a life to lose and he has a family that needed him whole and in the now. He wanted to stop but just could not. I never did told his parents nor any family relatives about his addiction, thinking that I can help him on my own. I was stubborn, and considerably good enough to say that I was selfish. When he killed himelf that was a wake up call. I just cannot save the world at work. I guess the blame was on me? Since then I promised to myself to be the very very very BEST bestfriend that I can be to whoever..

    RIP Anthony Legaspo.
    mental hospital phone menu.
    (a hate post from the past. for ms. gorayeb!)
    Hello and thank you for calling the Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options:
    If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
    If you are co- dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you
    If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6
    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, so please stay on the line so we can trace your call
    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the mourgue
    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press
    If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. Nothing will make you happy anyway
    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696969696
    If you are bi-polar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short term memory loss press 9.
    If you have short term memory loss, press 9
    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our Operators are too busy to help you
    If you are menopausal, please put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever
    If you are Ms. Gorayeb, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up

    This concludes this post. If you know anyone like this, contact them just to show you care
    letters to lucifer.
    sometimes I ponder.. if we (as most of us christians do) pray to God, does anyone pray to satan? If someone wish somebody's misery, wouldn't it be a thought? I'm not being diabolic at all but i think if it were to be done, they might look like these:

    [feud with sibling]

    Dear Satan,My brother James is a big poopy head. He is always being mean to me and calling me names. The other day he pulled the head off one of my Barbie dolls. Would you please devour his soul and bury him in flaming worms for all eternity? Also, if maggots could eat him alive from the inside out, that would be great. Thanks.

    Your pal,
    xxxxx

    *********

    [i remembered my senior yr final filipino exam during highschool which really gave me a week-long headache. i hardly knew anything about el fili and ibong mandaragit; now don't get me wrong, I love reading novels but the 8 syllable tagalog words were just too unbearable! t'was funny because after I've read an emanuel guevarra english rendition of it, I reckoned dr. jose rizal a writing genius!]

    Dear Satan,
    I have a big filipino test coming up on Friday, but I havent studied. I am afraid I will fail the test. Could you please suck the school into a vortex of all-encompassing evil, causing it to implode and collapse in upon itself and be sucked down into the center of the earth, where it would melt and be consumed by a molten core of malevolence? Or, if it’s easier, could you make the filipino teacher’s head explode? Either one would be good.

    Yours truly,
    xxxx

    *********
    [turned down on a date proposition?]

    Dear Satan,
    Today in homeroom I asked Andrea if she would dance with me at the Senior's Ball next weekend, but all she did was giggle and walk away. Could you please have your minions visit her at night and cut her into little pieces, then boil and throw all the pieces into a stew, then feed it to the rest of her family, and then cut off their heads and feed the heads to their dogs and then burn the house down and make sure they had let the premiums lapse on their homeowner’s insurance so that the fire would be a total loss and no money would be inherited by their heirs?

    You’re the best!
    xxxxxx

    *********

    [cheerleader competition?]

    Dear Satan,
    Hi! I think you totally rawk! I am competing with Diane Tan for head cheerleader at our high school, and I am afraid she might get it instead of me. I would totally owe you one if you could send up some sort of hideous beast to mate with her and make her produce, like, a litter of three-headed monkey babies or something. If that happened, there is NO WAY that coach would make her head cheerleader. Oh, also, can you cut her boobs off? You’re awesome!

    Love ya!
    xxxxxx
    instructions are pain in the a*s!
    I go through a general process whenever I buy something that requires installation or assembly. It goes like this:

    1. Return home excited at the prospect of the new product and rip it open five nanoseconds after I get home in spite of any other plans I may otherwise have.

    2. Read the directions.

    3. Curse loudly.

    4. Spend the next five hours trying to decipher the directions, periodically taking time to spew a long list of swear words.

    5. Give up.

    6. Briefly consider seppuku.[i'm a yoshimitsu fan btw]

    7. Take 10 minutes to finish the project without directions.

    In a word, product instructions suck. bigtime. Theyre frequently written in 49 different languages, including several that are known to only a handful of linguistic scholars. And those that are written in English are written in Engineer vernacular, meaning that theyre totally useless, anyway. Particularly frustrating is that these writers tend to make up their own words for things. So you get phrases like loop the fosset wire (A) through the tribolt (B) and tighten using the baring driver. Seriously, what the hell are you guys talking about? Engineers may know what a tribolt or a fosset wire is but nobody else does. Try using the word 'thingy' or 'that hooked deal' alongside big, full-color pictures. Then ill know what you're talking about.
    Each of the last several projects I've tried were only successful once I canned the instructions and did it myself. This included projects I'd done before, like installing a ceiling fan or a valve exhaust pappetts for my car, and projects I had no clue about, like installing a microwave over my stove. And it's not like I'm the greatest engineer. I suck at directions and everyone knows it. Im a only a boy, for crying out loud. Mechanical things scare me naked. I need instructions. So I shall end this post with a request – NO, forget that. I'm going to get myself down on my knees and I'm going to BEG any reader who owns a company that sells products of any kind that require instructions:

    Please, for the love of all that's good and holy, appoint a Vice President of Obviousness. This person can be anything but an engineer or a technogeek, preferably a grandmother who has no qualifications other than she can't program a DVD player. That person should be required to read and fully understand any directions written by the company before they are put out for public consumption. And if she can understand them then maybe, as God is my witness, I may get it, too.

    Later :)
    Thursday, March 6, 2008
    old peeps.
    Why do old people always have their mouths open when they walk? I mean like really old people. It’s like theyre trying to tell us something. Dont ask them what it is because theyre too old to know the answer. Dont try to get any photographic evidence either. When the camera goes on they instantly close their mouth. Pay attention to what Im saying here. It’s true.

    I'm just curious as to why this could be the truth. A few theories are as follows.

    -They need more air.
    -Its the best singles mingle for flies since shit was invented.
    -True validation that Polident works.[haha!]
    -To prove the Nazis did exist and stole their gold fillings and gold teeth. (I think you need to be Jewish)
    -To demonstrate that they didn’t have toothbrushes when they were little and they had to use a shoebrush and some lye and brush uphill both ways to make sure that their teeth didn’t get polio.
    -Something to talk about.

    Which is true?
    maths problem.
    If Timmy has 4 buttplugs and a tub of boy butter and Tommy has 2 dildos and some mineral oil, exactly how gay are they?

    For extra credit, where did their parents go wrong?
    harry potter spoiler.
    I heard the new Harry Potter book ends with the reader getting a life.

    No. Seriously, everyone here in London raves about how shitty J.K. Rowling ended the story.

    Wasted GBP 3.45 for this. Gah!
    first blood.
    Hi Everyone.

    Sorry to say, Im in a bit of a loop with regards to updating my dear old blog.
    Im too busy attempting to write a university assignment and coming up with anything intelligent to write is a killer.

    I am sure though that something will hit soon. Possibly. Plus I have loads of housework to do around here, namely re-ignite photo-of-the-day which I removed altogether.

    Im due to make an appearance at LJ.com at some point in the near future, once I manage to remove my brain from my bottom….I mean, complete my university assignment…Alright! and Once I’m done watching Grey’s Anatomy…sheesh! No need to be so harsh…